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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
But rattling away, bubble bubble toil and trouble;
was the boiler under the staircase, beginning to rumble.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
As they drifted off to sleep, thoughts of Santa filling their heads.
Mum finally put her feet up after a hard day’s work in kitchen,
and Dad had prepared the fruit salad, that was always his mission.
The parents sat down to wrap the presents; Grandad was bought a gnome
(he would cherish it when became unwrapped in the warm cosy home).
He would then sing the songs of great Christmases past,
The rose tinted memories always seem to last.
Dad tip-toed up to bed, full of booze, cheer and goodwill -
because he had downed the sherry left for Santa on the window sill.
‘Tomorrow is going to be perfect’ that was his consensus (but wait here’s the spoiler;
the next day was going to unfortunately unravel because of the faulty boiler).
As everyone drifted to the land of nod, dreaming of festive bliss
The boiler under the staircase was beginning to hiss.
Poorly pipes began to freeze over, requiring the loving touch of an engineer,
the boiler just could not cope with the coldest month in our year.
As the night moved on, the inside temperature dropped to an all-time low – and
Outside; the moon glazed the new-fallen snow
As the sun came up, ice had formed inside the house,
No creatures stayed these Arctic conditions; not even a mouse.
The sun peaked through the curtains, awaking Mum and Dad,
The children screaming delights of all the Christmas delights to be had,
But as they all awoke, and from bed they started to arise
Realising that Christmas was bearing a frosty surprise.
The boiler was bust, well and truly broken
Making the inhabitants of the house cry loud; truly outspoken
Eighteen people were arriving in less than 6 hours time,
The grandfather clock was aching with every chime.
While panic spread through the house quicker than Santa’s sleigh,
Dad simply sat calmly in his chair, no fear did he convey.
He picked up his phone, and entered several digits
And began to waffle down the phone for several minutes.
As Dad put the phone down the family were dumbstruck,
For dad’s face showed a smile, then up did he pluck
“My dear family, on this cold Christmas day I bring assurance
For clever old dad this year invested in boiler insurance!”
Less than two hours had progressed,
Well and truly before Nan docked her Sunday best
The friendly repairman, (in no way begrudgingly working his Christmas hol’)
Strolled in under the tinsel, a ‘handyman Santa’ out on patrol
In less than thirty minutes, Bob had fixed the tragic -
Bringing warmth back into the home with his magic
Exiting, whistling his goodbyes as he walked out the door
With thoughts of different family’s cheer (and boilers) to restore
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”